Now that I’ve given you five good reasons to buy my book, Eyeblack Odyssey, you might still be dragging your feet. To that, I’d say, “What’s wrong with you?” But I’m willing to go even further than that, and refute, point-by-point, the top excuses not to buy my book. I do this out of love and kindness for everyone (and to make another couple of bucks).
1.) You don’t like football. I will grant that this is an obstacle, but there’s more to this book than football. There’s a beautiful love story (between me and our Honda Civic). There’s the grandeur of the American landscape. There’s a dancing group plastered in rubber latex called “Lafitte’s Treasures.” In short, there’s a lot there. And even if the football is only moderately (or not at all) interesting to you, you can still laugh at football’s expense. I know. I do it all the time.
2.) It all seems a little too frivolous. I embrace the silly, there is no doubting that, but Eyeblack Odyssey is a touch deeper than that, and certainly more personal than just a bunch of stories of drunken idiots (though it has those too). This book is essentially about my love affair with college football, and all that that entails. So if I have to go into the mechanics of the BCS (and I do) or some of the personal stories from my youth (and I do), you can rest assured that that stuff makes the cut. It’s really less ridiculous than it appears on first glance, and if you know me, that is an oddly truthful admission to be making about my own work (since I usually just make light of everything). Also, it’s longer than you’d expect. More bang for you buck, folks.
3.) You can’t afford it. Sure you can, you just don’t want/need to spend your money this way. And I get that, so start throwing some pennies into a jar and save up instead. When you hit your target, then you can go ahead and buy the book, guilt-free. You’ll feel better that you budgeted for the expense, and I’ll feel better about taking your money. And when you finish reading it, you can even use the book for other things (blog post on this coming soon). Multiple uses for an awesome product? Sounds like you can’t afford NOT to buy it!
4.) The website looks weird, and you don’t trust it. Well, first of all, CreateSpace is owned by Amazon, so there’s that. Secondly, if it really bothers you, my book is also available on Amazon itself (and will soon be found at Barnes & Noble and others). And if that isn’t good enough, buy a book from me directly. Really, I don’t mind. Just give me some advance warning (since I don’t, at present, have a crate of books stored in the attic — though I probably should).
5.) Can you just help in some other way (like recommending it to people)? Yes, and it is appreciated. Very much appreciated, in fact. But I also wrote the book to be read, and that’s what I want. I want as many people as might have an interest in the book to read it. A lofty goal, sure, but a reasonable one. So ask yourself this: Might you have an interest in this book? If so, get it. You’ll very probably enjoy it, and as an added bonus, I will love you forever.
As I’m so fond of saying, everybody wins!
If the book is half as funny as this post, it will be worth it.
Flattery will get you everywhere.