Air Zonk — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 3)

Every now and then, a piece of culture comes along your path that doesn’t necessarily have wide appeal or grand success, but yet it speaks to you on some level. You understand beyond a shadow of a doubt what its creators set out to do, how perfectly they achieved that task, and as a result, that particular slice of art somehow becomes yours as well.

In these cases, you’ve simultaneously taken on the rare honor of relatively exclusive ownership (and all of the smugness that knowledge entails), while also being given the mantel of responsibility of trying to share the good word. You are not merely an observer of greatness; you’re also now a part of it.

I have before, am now, and will in the future be forever a preacher at the alter of Air Zonk.

Air Zonk

Genre: Shooter
Released: 1992
Platform: TurboGrafx-16
Avg. Critic Score: 8/10
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All the Turbografx-16 Mini games ranked

Here’s where I crack my knuckles, take a deep breath, and get to work: I’m going to rank all of the games on the Turbografx-16 Mini (and give you a few thoughts on the system itself), and while this is without a doubt a silly undertaking, I am after all, a silly man.

If you have no clue what I’m talking about, let me catch you up! The Turbografx-16 Mini is the latest and greatest* retro micro-console to hit the video game market. These “mini” consoles are basically plug-and-play versions of classic gaming systems from the past pre-loaded with a set number of games and designed to work with modern televisions. This particular one is over 50 games, some of which are NOTORIOUSLY (all caps) difficult/expensive to acquire.

* Yes, it’s the best of the mini consoles, and by a substantial margin.

My nostalgia for the original system is well documented. And the good news is the new mini-system lives up to basically all expectations. Yes, it’s niche. Yes, it has some (okay, several) clunkers. But it gets into levels of greatness and insanity most systems stay away from at all costs.

Hey Nintendo, release 60 percent of your games in Japanese, you cowards.

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