Die Hard Arcade mini review

What an interesting game this is!

The interwebs tell me this game is one of the first to utilize textured 3D polygons as well as quick-time events, and that makes it a fascinating bit of a history lesson.

The game is also a kind of hybrid 3D brawler, which makes it an odd duck in a sea of sprite-based beat ‘em ups.

And the license was about eight years late in arriving, which is another bit of wackiness I love.

So, this game is really effing weird, which scores it all sorts of points with me.

As for the gameplay itself? It’s kind of tricky to control and inconsistent. On the positive side, there are special moves and weapons to liven things up.

But they got rid of Alan Rickman, which is a level of weirdness I don’t approve of.

Dave’s Score: 7/10

NFL Blitz ‘99 (arcade) mini review

Arcade football games aren’t always good, so it’s worth pausing to appreciate them when they are.

The second entry in the “Blitz” franchise, “NFL Blitz ‘99” continues the tradition of grafting the “NBA Jam” aesthetic onto the game of football, creating outlandish, over-the-top hits, plays, and celebrations.

I enjoy the concept more than I do the execution, which suffers from a smidge too much rubber-banding and some so-so graphics from the early days of polygons.

Yet, the spirit of the thing can’t be denied. A bygone relic of a different age when the NFL wasn’t *quite* so vigilant about protecting its own image, Blitz’s comedic dedication to stupid violence is fantastically alluring.

Let’s give it an 8 and call it a day.

Dave’s Score: 8/10

Terminator Salvation (arcade) mini review

As a recent stop at an arcade illustrated to me, we all have our own distinct catnip.

While I immediately kickstarted some classics, my wife made a bee-line for the skee-ball, and my youngest kids jumped into the racers.

My oldest kid saw the very pretty ultra-violence on display in “Terminator Salvation,” and literally grabbed my arm to drag me to the impressive cabinet.

And I suppose those are the details most pertinent to a review: This on-rails first-person shooter is a looker and really immerses you in admirable fashion with creative set pieces. It’s also modern enough to appeal to the younger set.

The enemies are tank-like and sponge up a lot of gunfire, but given the license, that feels appropriate.

Also of note: It’s a pricey game and isn’t shy about putting you into no-win scenarios, so you’ll drop some coin. But if you’re okay with that, you should have a good time.

I’ll dock it a point for being occasionally unfair. But it’s still fun. I mean, you get to blow up terminators. That should always be a win.

Dave’s Score: 7/10

Haunted Castle Revisited mini review

I played the OG and this remake back-to-back, and basically I came away thinking they’re a lot closer in quality than people have been saying. I didn’t think the original was as bad as has been established, and I also didn’t think the remake is god’s gift to gaming.

I will say in fairness that this guy is an open-and-shut case as an improvement over its predecessor, which was a jank-fest.

The animation and graphics are clear upgrades, and a lot of the cheapness has been smoothed over. If you’re choosing between the two, I think this is the obvious winner.

But I also thought it was too easy and short an experience. It’s more of a curiosity than a full gaming experience. That puts a cap on how much I’d be willing to praise it.

So ultimately it’s pretty fun and a clear upgrade, but don’t use this as a reason to buy the Dominus Collection.

Dave’s Score: 7/10

Haunted Castle mini review

Janky … but not unreasonably so.

Believe me, I have played some unreasonably janky games, and this one really ain’t even approaching the honorable mentions.

“Haunted Castle” is sometimes mistaken for being a harbinger or forefather of the Castlevania series, but the original Castlevania debuted on the NES (along with an arcade port) well before this sucker. So it really has no excuse for kind of sucking.

(Since it came along second, it’s also not terribly important from a historical perspective.)

The suckiness comes through some of the hit detection and the cheap hits. The music and graphics are mostly fine, but decidedly different from what came before.

And it’s janky, with the protagonist kind of jerking around the screen like an extra from “Thriller,” but that actually fits the theme, so I’m not mad about it.

The trick here is memorization of enemy patterns, which with modern comforts like save states becomes a breeze.

There are absolutely worse spooky season games to engage with. It ain’t great, but it’s not quite the tire fire it’s been accused of being either.

Dave’s Score: 5/10

Metroid: Zero Mission mini review

The worst part about checking another Metroid game off the list is it leaves you with fewer Metroid games to experience for the first time.

I had a good enough time with Fusion earlier this year, and Prime 4 is a much better experience than some people want to admit, but neither game reminded me of that fact in the same way Zero Mission did. I was sad to see it end.

The game’s shorter length probably contributed to that — it had no chance to overstay its welcome.

But beyond never getting bored with it, I enjoyed Zero Mission’s pace of unlocking, the way it innovates on the original Metroid while staying true to it, and the storytelling it does.

Among 2D Metroids, this one is currently No. 3 for me behind Dread and Super. It’s a damn fine game.

Dave’s Score: 8/10

Final Fantasy Tactics — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 55)

On this countdown, we’ve covered two “Chrono” games — “Chrono Trigger” and “Chrono Cross” — two “Final Fantasy” games — “Final Fantasy 6” and “Final Fantasy 7” — the Nintendo-Squaresoft collaboration “Super Mario RPG” … and basically no other traditional role-playing games at all.

Every game in that list came from one company.

That might seem a little bonkers. And it is. In the entire realm of rpgs, we’ve so far centered our attention on one company.

Really?

Well, we will get to some others, I promise. But firstly, we have to make matters worse and go down the Squaresoft road once again to discuss “Final Fantasy Tactics.”

Why? 

Easy:

  1. It’s insanely good.
  2. It’s really different from everything else we’ve talked about to date.

Deal with it, Square haters.

Final Fantasy Tactics at a glance:

Genre: Strategy RPG
Released: 1998
Platform: PlayStation
IGN’s 38th greatest game
Continue reading Final Fantasy Tactics — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 55)

Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap mini review

Diving into all the lore and background of this title to do a proper review doesn’t fit the format of “mini review,” so we’re gonna skip most of that.

Basically, what you need to know is that the Wonder Boy/Monster World/Adventure Island series of games is pretty dang influential within the industry, and this particular entry in the series is so well revered that it inspired a remake a few years back.

The remake makes a few quality of life changes and pretties up the graphics quite a bit, making an influential, important title from the early days of the Metroidvania genre more approachable for modern audiences.

It’s a great time. Yeah, it’s pretty short, and the controls could be tighter, but the game rarely feels unfair. Even when you’re getting juggled like a ragdoll, you’re typically not taking absurd amounts of damage in the process. I also like the design of the maps, the variety imbued through the different forms your character takes, and the pace at which it unlocks new areas.

I saw someone describe it as “What if Zelda II, only good?” And, yeah, I agree with that.

I really like it.

Dave’s Score: 8/10

Resident Evil 2 — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 54)

“There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it.”

– Alfred Hitchcock

Esteemed filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock knew better than most the importance of building to climax: that the true fear in an event rested in the anticipation of it.

There’s something to be said for a slowly unfolding disaster.

Perhaps inspired by Hitchcock himself, this principle has been used to great effect within the video game industry as well.

Even going back to the old Atari 2600 days, one doesn’t have to squint to see the concept at play in a game like “Haunted House,” which battled through its technical limitations to provide jump scares that generate without any sort of rhyme or predictability, leaving the gamer always guessing about what might await them around every corner.

Importantly, these jump scares are not relentless in their approach. Instead, they come at odd moments, spaced from one another, creating a tension in the process.

Action platformers like “Metroid” built off of the idea and leaned into a sense of isolation in particular, milking the anticipation – primarily through scoring and level/enemy design – so as to make the gamer wait for the action to be sprung upon them, often by a creepy-looking critter.

The game was more “Alien” than “Vertigo.”

The important bit was to make the gamer wait, but the developers also emphasized this feeling of being alone, and in the case of the original Metroid in particular, of feeling lost. 

Much of Samus Aron’s story since has been built upon this tenet.

Attempts at the “survival horror” genre in the early 90s (before it was even called that) included titles like “Alone in the Dark” and “The 7th Guest,” games that were preoccupied with expanding upon the idea of an isolated traveller being trapped in a specific, well-realized place. 

In each case, it was a dangerous, haunted house. And the developers added set pieces and puzzles to the equation within a more graphical presentation. The gamer felt directly challenged by these games – as if the contest was personal. The comparatively fast-moving action of Metroid was discarded in favor of slower, more carefully considered dangers – a noteworthy shift itself – but the main outcome was this sense of being personally involved in the conflict.

You were being invited to observe the situation AND to intervene. Like a security guard watching security footage and reacting to it, these games didn’t so much put you in the protagonist’s shoes as challenge you to help them.

Have you ever watched a horror movie and felt an overwhelming urge to yell at the characters to act a particular way? Perhaps you’ve actually yelled at the screen (it’s cathartic and I recommend it).

“Don’t go into the woods!”

“Arm yourself, you fools!”

“Hire an acting coach, for the love of all that’s holy!”

The first brave steps into the survival horror genre tapped into this exact desire of barking commands at people, but instead of being a passive passenger, they allowed you to directly influence the survivability of your usual collection of morons and actually stack the odds in the protagonists’ favor.

All of which leads us to “Resident Evil,” which today has established itself as inarguably one of gaming’s most popular and important series.

And the franchise’s success can be traced to this impulse of wanting to save people in danger. Resident Evil, perhaps better than any other gaming property, allows you to step in and do that.

(And you can still yell at them if you want to.)

Resident Evil 2 at a glance:

Genre: Survival horror
Released: 1998
Platform: PlayStation
Game Informer’s 34th best game of all time
Continue reading Resident Evil 2 — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 54)