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Snake’s Revenge mini review

Hideo Kojima wasn’t involved in this NES sequel to the original “Metal Gear.”

Cool, now the baggage is out of the way and we can talk about the game itself.

On the positive side, it does a good job of smoothing over a lot of the rough edges from “Metal Gear,” cleaning up the graphical presentation quite a bit. It also avoids the comical translation problems and the weird jungle traversal from the first game.

I also like the whole “interrogate prisoners” dynamic, which feels different from anything I’ve seen in any of the other Metal Gear games.

On the negative side, “Snake’s Revenge” doubles down on the stupid key cards from the first game (the problem is less the cards themselves and how they’re implemented — you basically have to guess at every single door which card to use, then systematically try all of them, and this process is a sucky waste of time). I also don’t think I’m going out on a limb to call the side-scrolling sections a perplexing addition, since they largely suck as well.

That a lot of this is unsuccessful doesn’t make the whole a bad game, and indeed, I sort of hate that people dismiss it without giving it a fair go because of some bizarre loyalty to Kojima.

Where I think this all ends up is with a game that improves on its NES predecessor in some respects but largely fails to move the ball forward. It’s not all that dissimilar from something like Zelda II in that it’s weird enough to merit a play, but not good enough to consider it more than a curious bit of history, rather than an example of a great game.

But that history, such that is, doesn’t deserve to be erased.

Dave’s Score: 6/10

Eliminator Boat Duel mini review

Making the quirky choice to mix perspectives within a single race, switching between an overhead viewpoint and a behind-the-racer angle, this curious little game somehow makes each section competent enough on its own to create a cohesive whole.

That’s really what matters here — the solid racing — though it does more to draw the gamer in. Winning races (and even segments of races) allows you to acquire funds that upgrade your boat, which is a key element in trying to win later on against stronger opponents.

Said opponents are a colorful crew, characters who might fall into stereotypes but do have the benefit of being memorable. These goofballs would be at home in a “Punch-Out!!” title.

They make it a bit of a silly game, but it’s a fun one too, and that’s why we play, isn’t it?

Dave’s Score: 7/10

Urban Champion mini review

Oh, it’s definitely bad, as its reputation suggests. But just how bad?

Well, it’s the worst game I’ve completed this year, but it’s not significantly worse than “Ice Climber,” and since it’s been so strongly derided in other pockets of the web, I don’t feel compelled to dunk on it too severely.

It’s a rudimentary fighter, and it’s unsuccessful at inspiring strategy, let alone competition. It can be fun to knock your opponent into an open manhole or watch him get beaned by a flowerpot, but it’s all very shallow and over quickly.

As a curiosity, sure, you can play the thing. I’m not gonna give it a passing score, though.

Dave’s Score: 4/10

Mendel Palace mini review

This is a dang fine game, a tile-flipping puzzler that is colorful, interesting, and fun. It reminded me of “Chew Man Fu.”

My only hesitation with games like this is whether to give a full-chested endorsement, since puzzle games can offer a limited sort of enjoyment. It’s all sort of samey as you go along, and the games usually tap out at a couple of hours.

“Mendel Palace” can be characterized in the same way, though to its credit, it’s very strong at offering enemy variance, keeping things fresh. It never gets dull or boring. Some levels were irritating, seeming to rely more on luck then skill to traverse, but that’s a quibble.

It’s truly an under appreciated part of the NES library, and I’m glad I was able to play it on Switch. I think I’m in the “no reservations” category here. It’s a winner.

Dave’s Score: 8/10

Metal Gear (NES) mini review

So, most fans know this, but yes, the original “Metal Gear” did not debut on the NES. Famously, noted auteur Hideo Kojima did not find the NES port up to his exacting standards, and thusly, the game has fallen out of favor among metalheads in recent years.

Of course, what’s interesting to consider is a whole lot of people didn’t know any of this when the game debuted back in 1988. To a whole bunch of people, Metal Gear was just Metal Gear, not some inferior version of itself.

That’s how I chose to engage with the game, enjoying it on its own merits and accepting the shortcomings as being a byproduct of another era.

Taken on those terms, the game is very much … decent.

Stealth games basically got their start here, so the game has a significance, and it can be fun. Yet, it’s oftentimes confusing and muddled and annoying.

Enjoyable at times, frustrating at others, Metal Gear is a thoroughly “NES hard” kind of game.

And that’s okay.

Dave’s Ranking: 7/10

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty mini review

“Metal Gear Solid 2” is synonymous with subverting expectations. It’s synonymous with a lot of things, actually, representing its impact on the gaming industry.

If we can praise any one game for the rise of the video game auteur and the rush to build armies of developers to implement those visions for a hungry audience … we can certainly credit this one.

Hideo Kojima’s sequel to his PlayStation breakout hit has been celebrated partially as a showcase for the PlayStation 2 hardware, and partially as a game that prioritizes story to an almost absurd degree (hence the armies of developers).

The ultimate lesson at the heart of the story is to think for oneself, a worthy ambition for sure. The game gives us a cast of characters who are all entirely unreliable to illustrate this point, and yet, the entire narrative begins to collapse under the question of what is real and what isn’t. That might be a problem inherent to this type of story. But I confess to it breaking the suspension of disbelief more than I’d prefer. If I am to pretend that a story is true to engage with it, what am I to do when I am told the story is in fact not true?

If these questions seem a little too serious for a game about people creeping around under cardboard boxes, well, don’t blame me. The point here is to start using the brain, after all.

It was an absolute pleasure to engage with this, but I struggle with the question of just how essential it is, especially when we have the original game to play as well.

I think where this game lands is among my absolute favorites that just don’t quite make the Top 100. It’s more than fair to say that there are no regrets about having played, though. It’s a wacky-ass game.

Dave’s Score: 8/10

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (arcade) mini review

I’m not going to add a whole lot I didn’t cover already over here.

I guess what I’d say is that this is such a joy to play with my kids whenever I can convince them to give it a go. They’re into the Roblox and such, so it can be tough. We played it for Father’s Day this year.

It was great.

It’s always great.

Thanks, kids!

Dave’s Score: 9/10

Snake Rattle ‘n’ Roll mini review

If you play enough NES games in quick succession, you run the risk of being lulled to sleep, expecting an endless parade of basic platformers to bore you into submission.

That might be overstating it. I mean, I LIKE platformers, so the “risk” here may result in a fate that’s not half bad. But anyway, the point is, some NES games can be “same-y.”

“Snake Rattle ‘n’ Roll” is anything but. The objective is for you to move a little snake guy safely through an increasingly difficult to traverse 3D-isometric landscape. The pun of the title plays out with 50’s style music adaptations, a bright, colorful setting, and a bunch of critters trying to kill you.

Appropriately enough from the same studio that ported “Marble Madness” to the NES (Rare), this game reminds of that one, particularly as it relates to challenges inherent to the perspective (such as movement). The snake has to consume little bouncing pellets like Pac-Man to advance through stages … and he attacks enemies with his tongue.

If any of this sounds strange, I think that was the plan. Ultimately, Snake feels like a breath of fresh air compared to so many other NES games that refuse to deviate from established norms. That makes it an easy recommendation (with the caveat that it gets stupid levels of difficult in the end game).

Dave’s Score: 8/10

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 53)

“Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?”

If you’re of a certain age, an earworm is navigating its way through your brain right now as if you were RFK.

Where …

In the world …

Is …

Carmen Sandiego?

That song was the theme to the television show spin-off based on the original property, which originally was an educational game kids could play on their parents’ computers.

I frame it that way to differentiate it from an earlier entry in this list “The Oregon Trail,” which in my experience was primarily consumed at schools. Carmen Sandiego made it to schools too, but just as many people played it at home.

Yes, kids back in the 1980s and 1990s were supremely bored enough to want to actively engage with educational games at home. How do I know this? I was one of those bored kids. And no game was quite so pivotal to the “educate your kids while they play video games!” parenting impulse as Carmen Sandiego.

It essentially justified the entire enterprise of educational video games.

If you want to know how it did that – when so many other games had tried and failed dating back to the Atari golden age – you don’t need to overthink it.

This game was actually fun to play.

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? at a glance:
Genre: Educational
Released: 1985
Platform: PC
Member of World Video Game Hall of Fame

S.C.A.T. mini review

This game is decent.

A shoot-em-up on the NES … I mean, that tracks, yeah? It’s probably gonna be decent … but no better than that.

S.C.A.T. is way too short a game. It makes up for that with typical (for a shooter) unforgiving gameplay to prolong the experience, and it also does some interesting things. And no, by “interesting” I don’t mean “shamelessly rip off 80s sci-fi movies, to the point they named their characters ‘Arnold’ and ‘Sigourney.’”

What the game does is give you the ability to fire either left or right, send enemies at you from both directions, and then leave you to try to figure it all out. What helps you in this effort is the ability to set rotating secondary weapons to fire in specific directions, which allows you to cover your rear end when appropriate.

Usually, this gimmick of firing in either direction falls super flat for me, but here it works. And like I said, it’s a short game, so the weirdness doesn’t drag on forever. There’s something to be said for that.