DaveGladow.com – All Dave, all the time

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty mini review

“Metal Gear Solid 2” is synonymous with subverting expectations. It’s synonymous with a lot of things, actually, representing its impact on the gaming industry.

If we can praise any one game for the rise of the video game auteur and the rush to build armies of developers to implement those visions for a hungry audience … we can certainly credit this one.

Hideo Kojima’s sequel to his PlayStation breakout hit has been celebrated partially as a showcase for the PlayStation 2 hardware, and partially as a game that prioritizes story to an almost absurd degree (hence the armies of developers).

The ultimate lesson at the heart of the story is to think for oneself, a worthy ambition for sure. The game gives us a cast of characters who are all entirely unreliable to illustrate this point, and yet, the entire narrative begins to collapse under the question of what is real and what isn’t. That might be a problem inherent to this type of story. But I confess to it breaking the suspension of disbelief more than I’d prefer. If I am to pretend that a story is true to engage with it, what am I to do when I am told the story is in fact not true?

If these questions seem a little too serious for a game about people creeping around under cardboard boxes, well, don’t blame me. The point here is to start using the brain, after all.

It was an absolute pleasure to engage with this, but I struggle with the question of just how essential it is, especially when we have the original game to play as well.

I think where this game lands is among my absolute favorites that just don’t quite make the Top 100. It’s more than fair to say that there are no regrets about having played, though. It’s a wacky-ass game.

Dave’s Score: 8/10

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (arcade) mini review

I’m not going to add a whole lot I didn’t cover already over here.

I guess what I’d say is that this is such a joy to play with my kids whenever I can convince them to give it a go. They’re into the Roblox and such, so it can be tough. We played it for Father’s Day this year.

It was great.

It’s always great.

Thanks, kids!

Dave’s Score: 9/10

Snake Rattle ‘n’ Roll mini review

If you play enough NES games in quick succession, you run the risk of being lulled to sleep, expecting an endless parade of basic platformers to bore you into submission.

That might be overstating it. I mean, I LIKE platformers, so the “risk” here may result in a fate that’s not half bad. But anyway, the point is, some NES games can be “same-y.”

“Snake Rattle ‘n’ Roll” is anything but. The objective is for you to move a little snake guy safely through an increasingly difficult to traverse 3D-isometric landscape. The pun of the title plays out with 50’s style music adaptations, a bright, colorful setting, and a bunch of critters trying to kill you.

Appropriately enough from the same studio that ported “Marble Madness” to the NES (Rare), this game reminds of that one, particularly as it relates to challenges inherent to the perspective (such as movement). The snake has to consume little bouncing pellets like Pac-Man to advance through stages … and he attacks enemies with his tongue.

If any of this sounds strange, I think that was the plan. Ultimately, Snake feels like a breath of fresh air compared to so many other NES games that refuse to deviate from established norms. That makes it an easy recommendation (with the caveat that it gets stupid levels of difficult in the end game).

Dave’s Score: 8/10

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 53)

“Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?”

If you’re of a certain age, an earworm is navigating its way through your brain right now as if you were RFK.

Where …

In the world …

Is …

Carmen Sandiego?

That song was the theme to the television show spin-off based on the original property, which originally was an educational game kids could play on their parents’ computers.

I frame it that way to differentiate it from an earlier entry in this list “The Oregon Trail,” which in my experience was primarily consumed at schools. Carmen Sandiego made it to schools too, but just as many people played it at home.

Yes, kids back in the 1980s and 1990s were supremely bored enough to want to actively engage with educational games at home. How do I know this? I was one of those bored kids. And no game was quite so pivotal to the “educate your kids while they play video games!” parenting impulse as Carmen Sandiego.

It essentially justified the entire enterprise of educational video games.

If you want to know how it did that – when so many other games had tried and failed dating back to the Atari golden age – you don’t need to overthink it.

This game was actually fun to play.

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? at a glance:
Genre: Educational
Released: 1985
Platform: PC
Member of World Video Game Hall of Fame

S.C.A.T. mini review

This game is decent.

A shoot-em-up on the NES … I mean, that tracks, yeah? It’s probably gonna be decent … but no better than that.

S.C.A.T. is way too short a game. It makes up for that with typical (for a shooter) unforgiving gameplay to prolong the experience, and it also does some interesting things. And no, by “interesting” I don’t mean “shamelessly rip off 80s sci-fi movies, to the point they named their characters ‘Arnold’ and ‘Sigourney.’”

What the game does is give you the ability to fire either left or right, send enemies at you from both directions, and then leave you to try to figure it all out. What helps you in this effort is the ability to set rotating secondary weapons to fire in specific directions, which allows you to cover your rear end when appropriate.

Usually, this gimmick of firing in either direction falls super flat for me, but here it works. And like I said, it’s a short game, so the weirdness doesn’t drag on forever. There’s something to be said for that.

Dave’s Score: 7/10

Vice: Project Doom mini review

I mean, it’s another NES action platformer. Surprise!

There are so many of these kinds of games, the developers no doubt had two key objectives in mind:

1. Polish it the fuck up.

2. Do something strange.

“Vice: Project Doom” at least understood the assignment. The graphical presentation is impressive, boasting scrolling backgrounds, lots of color, and “Ninja Gaiden”-style cinematics. The controls are solid, as is the hit detection. It really does get the basics right.

In terms of getting weird, the game presents a couple of shooting range levels and some “Spy Hunter” style drive and shoot stages.

That’s nothing to speak of the plot, which is delightfully absurd.

I think where this game suffers a little is that so much of what it does reminds you of other games. The examples noted above are the most blatant, but it also at varying points feels like about a dozen other games which have done all of this before (often better).

If you like this sort of thing (8-bit platformers), you’ll probably enjoy it. I’m a little less enthusiastic just based on how derivative it all feels. But it’s a solid time.

Dave’s Score: 7/10

Crystalis mini review

You’ve gotta tread lightly with these old-school RPGs on the NES. People love them. They’re influential as heck. And if you keep an open mind, you can have a decent time.

But there’s no denying that genre of game — perhaps more than any other — can struggle to connect with modern audiences. In many cases, it’s the absence of quality of life improvements from modern titles that stand out. With the action RPG “Crystalis,” the problem is less about aggravating grinding demands or an absence of creature comforts, and more about a baffling level of intentional befuddlement.

You just don’t know where to go. The solution, naturally, is to lean on a guide to help you progress. So much so, it’s virtually impossible to imagine anyone navigating this game without one. Cryptic puzzles, confusing dialogue, hidden items … this is like Zelda on steroids.

The story and action are good stuff. And as alluded to above, more modern touches, such as the ability to warp from place to place, are welcome. It’s frankly impressive that they’re here.

So I can see why people love this game and brag on it being one of the hidden gems on the NES. I’m glad I played it. But fair warning: you’re gonna need to keep a guide handy throughout the experience to make any kind of headway.

Dave’s Score: 7/10

Shadow of the Ninja mini review

We’re all entitled to change our minds.

As a goofy teenager, I was a “Ninja Gaiden” apologist, to the point that I found all other ninja-themed video games to be lacking.

Fast forward a few decades and “Ninja Gaiden II” popped up on Switch Online, so I eagerly consumed it and found it be … quite obnoxious.

For one thing, the game didn’t advance enough upon the original, but it was also irritatingly difficult., the kind of experience you’d walk away from without save states unless you were:

A.) A masochist.

B.) Transported back in time to 1990.

C.) Both?

“Shadow of the Ninja,” released that same year by developer Natsume is, dare I say it, a more enjoyable use of one’s time.

13-year-old me would be shaking his head right now.

Shadow tones down the difficulty of the Gaiden series, provides a similar flair for the theatrical (great music, graphics and level/enemy design), and offers several goodies that Gaiden doesn’t: some useful weaponry that makes the journey a smidge easier (such as a kusarigama for longer range attacks and bombs for heavier damage) and a two-player mode that included a female character (this was still a big deal in 1990).

This game kind of rocks, if I’m honest, which is a far cry from what I thought when I rented it back in the day.

Shadow better than Gaiden II?

I’m shook.

Dave’s Score: 8/10

Your Ted Lasso Viewing Guide

I like to give the people what they want. Perhaps I’m a people pleaser, like Ted Lasso.

One of the more consistently popular posts on this fancy schmancy blog is my “Star Wars Rebels” viewing guide, which frankly does more heavy lifting than I would prefer.

There’s a lot of other writing here, my people. Branch out. (Please!)

Anyway, to help ease the burden on that poor Rebels post, I thought it advisable to do another viewing guide or two, and with “Ted Lasso,” one of my all-time favorite shows set to make its (hopefully) triumphant return this summer, and because I often encounter people who don’t seem keen on ingesting the entirety of the program start to finish, I’ve lifted some of the highlights from the show and provided an outline below.

Essentially, this is my ideal way to consume the show if you don’t think wikipedia summaries are good enough, but you don’t want to commit to watching the whole darn thing.

Let’s be honest, some of the episodes are better or more important to the overarching narrative than others. And that’s okay! You’ve still got time to watch (or rewatch!) the entire run if you want (and I recommend that you do so!), but hey, if you’re thinking, “It’s time I saw what the fuss was about,” or “Man, I really want to rewatch some of it,” but don’t want to go whole hog, this is the guide for you.

If you’re new to the series, the case for “Ted Lasso” is the case for kindness and sincerity. That might sound a little boring at the outset, but I think what most people who have opened themselves to the show have discovered is that there is a surprising freshness to it. That’s probably (certainly?) an indictment of modern society in general, though it’s also what ultimately makes the show work. When you go in expecting cynicism and sarcasm, and the characters instead behave in a different (albeit still realistic) manner, the show can become a little less predictable, and well, that keeps the narrative interesting.

The secret sauce of kindness, then, is what gives the show its vitality, in sharp contrast to any feared boredom. And as a result, it becomes very much worth engaging with, PARTICULARLY if you feel a little tired of negativity (I want to acknowledge that this show, and its kindness, was a soothing balm for many of us during the pandemic).

With this guide, you’ll get the best moments from the show, the best episodes, and most of the key plot elements (though some of the plot will get trimmed here – it’s the nature of the process). I apologize to fans if your favorite episode doesn’t get included. Again, this is the nature of the process. And it’s just one dude’s list. Your list can be different and that’s cool.

With all that said, let’s get started with the DEFINITIVE (j/k) Ted Lasso viewing guide.

Barbecue sauce.

Star Fox 64 mini review

It’s kind of a tough call to pick between the original “Star Fox” and its N64 reinvisioning, at least for this writer.

Thankfully, I don’t have to make that call here, since this is more about evaluating “Star Fox 64” in a vacuum.

In that context, 64 is an unqualified success, boasting a proper advancement of the controls, story, graphics, and sound you’d expect from the era, resulting in one of the better rail shooters you’ll find anywhere.

The branching paths are really what will make or break the game for most people. If you’re a fan, they’ll extend the life of the game considerably. If you’re less enthused, well, this is an hour or two of a good time and that’s pretty much it.

I think with the announcement of the Switch 2 remake, more people will try checking this one out. They’ll be greeted by a game that is self-assured and enjoyable. Not ground-breaking. Just good.