We haven’t really talked about Japanese imports in this countdown yet (present company excepted), and it feels like a pretty important part of the games industry at large … so let’s maybe do that, yeah?
Bonus: It gives me an excuse to talk about what is just a dang delightful game.
So, let’s go ahead and discuss “Star Parodier,” an excellent “cute ‘em up” that somehow didn’t get ported to America for a couple of decades despite it being a feast visually, aurally, and gameplay-wise, while also being that rarest of things shooters so often fail to even remotely consider during planning and development:
It’s approachable.
Star Parodier at a glance:
Genre: Shooter
Released: 1992
Platform: PC Engine Super CD
9/10 score from Nintendo Life
When I first booted up my brand-new Turbografx-16 mini while society was in the throes of Covid-19 lockdowns in the spring of 2020,* I immediately made a beeline for two games I had previously established a love affair with in my adolescence, “Air Zonk” and the first Bonk game, “Bonk’s Adventure.”
* The story of acquiring said device is somewhat noteworthy itself, as so determined was I to procure this item as soon as humanly possible, that I took note of shipping delays due to the pandemic and crafted a workaround whereby canceling my original order and instead ordering through Amazon Japan I could receive my shipment as originally scheduled in the spring of 2020 instead of having to endure a several-month wait. The gambit worked, and the device arrived neatly on time. Conveniently, this story ties in very well with the theme of importing games. And yes, it also establishes that I am a FREAK for the Turbografx-16.
What was third on my list after those two games – even above the likes of “Castlevania: Rondo of Blood,” “Bonk’s Revenge,” or “Soldier Blade” – was Star Parodier.
To make sense of this, I think I should speak to what makes Star Parodier so inherently appealing to anyone who hasn’t experienced it yet.
The starting point for all of that is what it does well.
Conceived as a parody to the popular Star Soldier series — of which the esteemed Soldier Blade is a part — and in the same way “Parodius” was a parody of “Gradius”, Star Parodier was released on the PC Engine (Turbografx-16) Super CD-ROM2 in Japan in 1992 … though as mentioned above, it didn’t release in the United States.
It is a vertical scrolling shooter that features bold, cartoonish sprites and over-the-top sound effects and music that are absolutely 100% cute and also 100% designed to make certain gamers throw up all over themselves immediately.
I mean, this stuff is cuteness overload. It is a LOT. But while it will turn some folks off, it will also act as catnip to others.
This approach to game design wasn’t unique, and it became an entire sub-genre of the pre-existing “shoot ‘em up” because so many of these suckers were developed. They eventually became known as “cute ‘em ups.”
Cute, right? (Hey, at least it’s appropriate.)
The aforementioned Air Zonk is a prime example of this sub-genre.
Of course, so is Star Parodier, which is why we’re all here right now.
I’d seen some of the gameplay footage for this game online, and the visuals and sound had drawn me in immediately. To be sure, the visuals and sound DO stand out in a crowd, boasting clear cues about what one is experiencing. The sound effects make clear that various and sundry things are being stupidly cute while also very clearly getting properly blown up, while the character sprites are big, puffy, colorful, and clearly defined.
You can tell what’s what, and this matters in a game so inherently chaotic.
And trust me, it IS chaotic. Your typical shooter does this sort of thing of course, but this is borderline sensory overload. Not quite bullet hell,* mind you, but you can maybe sorta see some early inklings of that here, methinks. There’s a lot on the screen at any given point, and thusly, clearly defined visuals AND sound makes a big difference in being able to understand and process what you’re seeing (so as to avoid getting blown to smithereens, naturally).
* “Bullet hell” was another sub-genre of shooter that came along within a year or two of this one. Mostly making their hey in the arcade scene, bullet hell games were typified by absurd amounts of enemy projectiles on screen, which made navigation exceedingly difficult while also filling the screen with bright, hypnotic visuals.
But anyway, this game took the basic Star Soldier plot of “save the universe, you fool!” and pasted giant fish, snowmen, clowns, balloons, pharaohs, and basically anything colorful and slightly weird you could think of into the proceedings.
Nuking a giant snowman is an underrated experience, let me tell you.
The gamer has three characters to choose from, all of whom have different power-ups. You can choose either a fairly standard spaceship (though with more rounded, kid-friendly edges!), a literal bomberman pyromaniac guy (based on the popular gaming series “Bomberman,” this guy chucks bombs at everything that moves),* or, weirdly enough, an anthropomorphic PC Engine (who fires CDs at his enemies and uses rotating gamepads as a shield defense).
* I’m giving Bomberman a sidebar here because these are damn good games, and if you’re at all into the idea of experiencing gaming history, they are pretty much must-plays, whether any specific entry can manage to make this countdown or not (spoiler: probably not, hence me shouting those games out here). The basic idea is you’re in this top-down view of your little guy, and he sets bombs to blow up obstacles/enemies and unlock power-ups. This sounds simple, but it’s genuinely really hard not to blow yourself up, which is where the core of the gameplay challenge comes in. Also, these games generally have a killer multiplayer mode where you and your friends get to blow one another up. Again, these games are great, and I specifically endorse the two games that were included on the Turbografx Mini — “Bomberman ’93” and “Bomberman ’94.”
Clearly, the PC Engine guy is the best possible choice for the sheer absurdity of it, but I can attest to all three characters having their own advantages and disadvantages, and you can have a good time with any of the three.
The secret sauce in why each character is fun to play is that the difficulty here is relatively soft, especially as shooters go. It’s not uncommon to blast through the first couple of levels without taking a single hit, and since the game is generous about handing out power-ups and one-ups, you can really build a safety net for yourself for the later stages when things get a little more challenging.
The looks, sounds, and bizarre designs are the candy that get you in the store, but then once you’re there, you find out the game is fun to play too.
It’s all rather intoxicating.
But part – a big part – of what made Star Parodier so coveted and why I went right for it the first chance I got (beyond its catnip-like presentation) was its dang unavailability.
Supply and demand, yo. Scarcity breeds FOMO.
What’s interesting about that unavailability is that Kaneko/Hudson Soft actually DID prepare this game for a Western release, but somewhere along the line they decided not to drop it in North America, presumably over fears that it wouldn’t sell super well.
This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence back then, as any Turbografx-16 owner can tell you.
It meant that anyone wanting to play this back in the day had to first learn it existed in the first place via relentless monitoring of various international trade magazines, then commit to purchasing the thing, which was often done over the phone and with money orders (the companies that specialized in these services were often advertising in the back of said trade magazines). Appropriately, most of this operation was based on the West Coast (closer to Japan), meaning there was more of an import scene in California and up the coast.
It was all rather involved and very low tech, and it’s kind of humorous to think about one trying to engage with this stuff nowadays. “Um, why not start a website?” Because no one was on the internet back then, and ecommerce wasn’t the least bit established and/or secure either.
So, money orders it was!
For whatever reason Star Parodier didn’t come to the States,* it did eventually make it to the Wii Virtual Console in 2008, the same year it was included in a PSP anthology collection of Star Soldier games (appropriately dubbed “Soldier Collection”). Mind you, this was 16 YEARS after the game’s original launch. It debuted on the Turbografx-16 mini a dozen years after that (so 28 YEARS after the fact).
* By “whatever reason,” I mean “because they couldn’t sell enough TurboDuos in the states … even to freaks like me.”
I dunno man, but there’s something weirdly enticing about encountering a game you had no previous access to, especially one with the kind of sugar-infused brightness that this one has.
“So, you’re telling me I now have access to a game I couldn’t play for 30 years, and moreover, that the game is GOOD?”
Yeah, of course it was like honey.
Thankfully, it didn’t disappoint.
In fact, it was much better than I had been hoping.
Star Parodier is downright fantastic.
So what makes it worth playing today?
There is a long list of games that never got an “official” release in the United States that absolutely deserve a wider audience today.
RPG superfans will point to the likes of “Terranigma” and “Mother 3” as being absolute, full-stop, Grade-A experiences. Many will also make the case for unimported early works in the “Final Fantasy,” “Fire Emblem,” and “Dragon Quest” series as being worth seeking out too (I’m less sold on some of these, to be honest, but to each his own).
Likewise, Hideo Kojima’s work on such titles as “Snatcher” and “Policenauts” has not been readily available to folks in the States,* giving all of us a rather incomplete picture of how Kojima went from 8-bit dalliances to modern storytelling auteur with his work on the “Metal Gear Solid” series.
* I will acknowledge that a weaker version of Snatcher is on the Genesis CD, but that’s still a rather niche set of circumstances itself, and like I said, it is widely acknowledged as being the weaker version of a truly fascinating game.
But above all, I’d argue that the library of the Turbografx-16, while still boasting a highly curated selection of available titles that by and large provide enjoyable experiences, is roughly HALF the size it should be.
I’ll repeat: Basically half of the PC Engine’s best titles (at minimum) did not make it over to the United States.
When Konami – the current owners of the Turbografx brand (and many of the accompanying titles) – elected to release the Turbografx-16 mini console, its catalog of included games was organized into two distinct piles: the Turbografx pile and the PC Engine pile.
And the PC Engine pile was substantially larger than the Turbografx pile.
I think that made said mini console a particularly welcome addition to the mini console landscape when it debuted. With the other mini-systems, I think most people were trying to relive their youth through nostalgia. They’d probably played most of those games already. With the Turbografx-16, it was more about capturing something they’d missed originally. A lot of people hadn’t played the original system, and even for the ones that had, they probably hadn’t played most of these bangers.
For the normies who had only a passing awareness of what those systems offered, it was perhaps a revelation to learn that a crap-ton of non-ported games represented the TG16 experience best.
But I’d also say that this basic understanding of what an American audience went through back in the day is key to understanding the system’s history.
If you were a Turbografx fan in the early 90s, you were either importing stuff or STRONGLY considering doing so.
I was in the latter category, desperately trying not to fall into the sunk-cost fallacy and throw more money at the “problem” of owning a half-realized gaming system.
Yet, I wasn’t living in a cave either. I knew Dracula X (Rondo of Blood) and Street Fighter 2 existed. I knew there were a crap-ton of cool things coming out on the Duo. And I knew there were avenues available for ordering things and having them shipped straight from Japan.
These games, while also being objectively good – and in some cases being BETTER than what was available here – were probably even more coveted just by being difficult to acquire.
I mean, it was a scene. (I was too poor/thrifty to go down that road, but it was there.)
Where I think Star Parodier excels most is in providing that specific experience and in acting like a gateway drug.
We spoke earlier about how approachable the game is, and that’s absolutely at play here. To wit, it’s bright, it’s colorful, it sounds amazing, it’s easy to grasp, and it’s easy to play.
“This thing looks cool. And it’s easy to figure out. And it’s not making me cry out in defeat. Woah, are there OTHER games out there like this???”
Yes, yes there are.
Star Parodier is one of the better arguments a person could ever make for dipping one’s toe into international games lacking in English ports/translation. And it’s a wonderful gaming experience, despite it being unjustifiably buried in a foreign country for a few decades.
But then, that’s part of the point. Going back and revisiting older games can be a bit of a time travelling experience, wherein you get immersed in the history of what you’re playing. And in the case of Star Parodier, while it stands on its own two feet as being a wonderful game on its own, it also paints this vivid picture of the import scene. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll play this game and then want more.
“What else have I been missing?”
Now we’re talking.
Let’s go find out.
Dave’s Score: 9/10
Check out the whole Retro Gaming Essentials list here!
How to play
- Original hardware (PC Engine Super CD)
- Virtual Console (Wii)
- Soldier Collection (PSP)
- Turbografx-16 mini