Tag: Nintendo

Pinball review

One of the original releases on the old Nintendo Entertainment System was “Pinball,” which wasn’t much for wowing people. It was there strictly for variety, like those doughy donuts at the Chinese buffet. No one goes to the buffet for those doughy donuts. But them being there give you something else to munch on that doesn’t much resemble anything else there. And they’re comforting.

That’s Pinball. Nintendo’s effort, spearheaded by HAL, is low on frills (no music at all) and suffers from some floaty physics that irk purists. The theming is weirdly mismatched, featuring ducks, penguins, and casino playing cards. No, I do not understand what is going on here.

It’s not a landmark title within the genre, though it deserves a look for the sheer “Nintendo-ness” of it all. Mario makes a nonsensical appearance in the bonus area, and for console gaming pinball enthusiasts circa the mid 1980s, this was about as well as one could do.

The Internet told me that clearing 250,000 points qualifies as having given the game its proper paces. That’s a good thing, because I’m not sure I’d have the patience for the full million. I do recommend trying to hit 100,000 at minimum, as you’re greeted by a supremely wonky surprise at that point. It’s so strange, I had to pause the game and look up if it was intentional or some kind of glitch. That experience kind of made the game for me, if I’m honest. I found it charming.

In the final analysis, the game provides that sort of trance-like getaway that video pinball needs to provide, earning it a passing grade and my patented “tepid thumbs up” ranking.

Dave’s Score: 7/10

The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker review

I think most people already know a fair bit about this one. But for those who don’t, “Wind Waker” continues the tradition of 3D Zelda established in “Ocarina of Time,” bumping up the graphical output for the GameCube and building a much larger adventure in the process.

People were mixed on the cartoonish visuals at the time (and some still are I suppose), though frankly the thing is gorgeous, a better-looking Zelda than probably anything other than the two newer Switch titles.

It also boasts a killer soundtrack, a great sense of design and style, solid bosses and weaponry, a fairly unique story, and its sense of scale and exploration again only take a backseat to the two modern Zelda entries.

I think the sailing and digging for treasure bits are super repetitive, though I suppose I had more fun there than I would have expected. The bigger issue to me is how confusing some of the side quests are. That on the face of it could be okay … but the “side quests“ are actually tied into the main game. You’re required to complete them. So, them being cryptic is a frigging problem.

I’ve come to appreciate modern Zelda for its lack of these roadblocks. And yet, I think there’s a place for traditional 3D Zelda too. We can all point to our favorites within that. This one is below Ocarina and “Majora’s Mask” for me. Beyond that? Kind of a grab bag. These are great games, but mileage will vary some from title to title.

If you want a beautiful, longer Zelda, this might be your huckleberry.

Dave’s Score: 9/10

Balloon Fight review

The older, Nintendo-published “black box” games on the NES are, on the whole, an interesting experience.

Most of them feel a little arcadey, for lack of a better term, calling to mind previous generations of home gaming which aimed to recreate the arcade experience at home in lieu of basically everything else.

“Balloon Fight” is no exception. It involves a single screen of little dudes floating about via balloon. The object is to be like Obi-Wan and get the high ground (or high “air”) from where you can pop the other balloons, rather than have yours popped instead.

The basic game is fun enough, but it turns into an endless repeating level quest, wherein you try to get high scores before you eventually die.

Like I said, arcadey.

I enjoy it in bursts, but it’s not the sort of thing I make a point to return to.

Dave’s Score: 7/10

Xevious (NES) review

One of the very first vertically scrolling shooters, “Xevious” stood out quite a bit at release for having a varied, topographical background rather than a simple star field.

It’s also a smart game, varying the enemies it sends at you based on the way you play.

All of this is really cool.

The NES port is … okay. It literally never ends. And it’s a tough game. And of course, as an NES shooter, it’s ugly.

It didn’t piss me off like “Star Soldier” did, so that’s something. But it’s definitely dated.

How much you enjoy probably depends on how much you appreciate the historical importance.

I like video game history, so …

Dave’s Score: 7/10

Star Soldier (NES) review

I’m a big fan of the Super Star Soldier trilogy on the Turbografx-16, so much so that I have listed the third entry in that series, “Soldier Blade,” as one of my greatest games of all time.

(I also listed parody spinoff “Star Parodier” for good measure.)

So visiting “Star Soldier,” the very first game that inspired all that Turbografx greatness, for the first time was an interesting experience.

First off, this NES port, much like “Gradius,” features concessions in order to run an arcade game on 8-bit hardware. This is to be expected. And, like Gradius, this port mostly runs way better than you might anticipate.

Generally speaking, I prefer vertically scrolling shooters to horizontal ones, and that helps this game along, as objectively, the power ups and level design are fairly mid. The gameplay and some of the set pieces (such as obstacles you can hide under) do the majority of the heavy lifting.

Where Star Soldier struggles most of all is with its stupid repeating boss, who gets more and more obnoxious in every iteration, until you get to the final boss and would rather put a literal boot through the screen than try to engage with him again, particularly when he’s at his most annoying.

I’m serious, he’s a genuine asshole. There’s this weird dynamic in the game where if you don’t defeat the boss quickly enough, he escapes, and you get warped back to the beginning of the level.

Fuck. That.

Plus, the trouble with defeating him quickly is he throws a gazillion projectiles at you to avoid. So, it sucks. And your reward is basically no ending at all.

I think most people will be left wanting for more with this game. I originally gave it a passing grade since I’ve been relatively generous with scores lately and there is some historical value here. But in good conscience I just can’t recommend it. That warping nonsense is unforgivably evil design.

Dave’s Score: 5/10

Mario Bros. review

One of my favorite things about “Mario Bros.” is how badly it seems to confuse people, since it seems the vast majority of people one encounters get it conflated with “Super Mario Bros.“ This phenomenon extends to search engines, which seem incapable of resisting the urge to add “Super” to the front of the search term.

For the record, they are, in fact, completely different games. If you’re thinking of the one with the catchy music and the mushrooms and rescuing princesses, congratulations, you’re thinking of the other one.

This one is perhaps most famous for being included as a bonus in other games. Remember the mini-game in “Super Mario Bros. 3” when you’d compete with the other player for the right to play the next level? You were in this static screen underground with pipes about, and you had to upend critters who were above you by bumping your head into the ground they stood on. Once they were upended, you could run up there and run into them to take them out (but only if they didn’t recover before you got there.

Having first encountered Mario Bros. via that mini-game in Mario 3, I was sorta taken aback when I found out it was its whole own game.

It was fun enough, but it seemed a wee underwhelming as a concept for an entire game.

That was probably unfair of me. Circling back to it now, I certainly don’t put it in the upper echelon of single-screen platformers with the likes of “Donkey Kong,” “Popeye,” or “Parasol Stars,” .., but it isn’t all that far off.

What helps the activity of this game stand out is it becomes trance-like in the best way that so many other puzzlers do. You get into a flow, and as you engage with it, the outside world melts away for a bit.

If you find yourself perusing the old NES library for ideas, this one really ain’t bad at all.

Dave’s Score: 7/10

Kid Icarus review

I’ve probably been overdue in playing this old-school NES platformer, though in my defense, “Kid Icarus” rarely gets mentioned first or second (or even 40th) on most people’s favorites lists.

There are reasons for that, starting with the general jank (simple things like landing on platforms don’t always go the way they should), the somewhat spartan look of the thing, and most critically the game being discouragingly difficult and non-welcoming to new gamers.

“Welcome to Kid Icarus; would you like to grind for health, die via enemy, or die via fall?”

If that’s all there was, we could safely dismiss it as an artifact and move on.

And yet…

The power-ups are actually fairly nifty, and the dungeon levels are fun and unique. That latter point is a valuable one: dungeons in 2D side-scrollers have rarely (if ever) been this intricate or interesting to navigate.

So sadly, in the same way I have been forced to admit that various forms of exercise are actually good for you, I must likewise admit that Kid Icarus has an intrinsic value. Get your teeth knocked out for a while and you’ll get to experience a game unlike most anything else.

Dave’s Score: 7/10

Ice Hockey review

Hey, hockey fever for us Americans, amirite? Two golds! USA! USA! It makes sense to want to get in a little video hockey.

Yet, full disclosure is necessary here: I’m a “Blades of Steel” guy.

Hockey fans certainly had it good back in the day. So good, in fact, that the old NES gave gamers TWO quality games to choose from, the aforementioned Blades and the Nintendo-produced “Ice Hockey,” which has plenty going for it itself. Then, a couple of years later, EA really got things rolling with its NHL series on the Genesis (and eventually the SNES), which let’s be honest, is much better than its NES predecessors.

I consider the latter to be very nearly must-play (take your pick between ‘93 or ‘94 … I prefer ‘94), and the NES offerings are a little lacking in comparison. Granted, Ice Hockey attempts to create strategy by designing different styles of players (e.g. big and strong vs little and fast) to utilize, which I appreciate. It adds variety to the gameplay, which already boasts nice ice physics. And the game features international squads rather than NHL or pseudo-NHL teams.

But the problem is you get the gist of the gameplay about a game in, and then you dominate. And once you finish dominating your opponent, you’re done. There’s no tournament. No season. No playoffs. Just single matches to set up featuring the same few teams. Dominating them. Over and over. Until the end of time.

Blades gives you a better payoff, and its intermission entertainment is better too. It ain’t perfect either, but it gives you something more, and thusly has better longevity.

So basically, Ice Hockey is a pretty fun time, but it gets the bronze. Them’s the breaks.

Dave’s Score: 7/10

F-Zero X review

There are a lot of “floaty car” racers out there. Here’s another one!

That’s basically the review right there. The second F-Zero game on home consoles released for the N64, F-Zero X stood out for trading any semblance of decent visuals in for lightning speed, as though driving a cyber truck meant you could go 800 mph down a slip n slide.

Sadly, driving a cyber truck only makes you a giant dorkstore. But the good news is this game allows you to make a deal with the devil that actually provides a decently good time and not just the scorn of every person you meet.

The insane speeds here really stand out. Unfortunately, so do the touchy controls, which make the thing a little more inaccessible than other racers, including its predecessor, which I consider a more enjoyable affair overall (and was certainly more groundbreaking).

So yeah, that’s F-Zero X. It’s ugly. It’s insanely fast. And it’s got a steep learning curve. As part of a really deep collection of racers on the N64, I consider it somewhat noteworthy historically as well.

I like it. I don’t love it.

Dave’s Score: 7/10

Metroid Prime 4: Beyond review

This is tricky. A much anticipated and then much maligned sequel of a beloved Nintendo franchise, Metroid Prime 4 is probably best experienced without any of that baggage. So a review kind of defeats the purpose.

What I feel comfortable sharing is that it doesn’t live up to the lofty expectations many had for it, nor does it fall to depths many have accused it of doing. Instead, my experience was very much, “Hey, more Metroid Prime, neat!”

I think the flaws in design are undeniable, so much so that the much derided desert area does necessitate a warning for first-time players: I would not ignore collecting the green crystals. Go a little out of your way to ram into them on your motorcycle as much as you possibly can. Do this and I think the pacing of the game works just fine. Don’t do this and the end of the game might begin to feel like an extended Kids Bop concert.

That there needs to be a caveat is in its own way disappointing, but I want to be clear: I REALLY enjoyed playing this. I’m okay with the choices many had a problem with, the music and graphics are top-shelf, and it’s still as fun as ever to wander through beautiful alien biomes, scanning all the things before blasting them into atoms. (The boss battles in particular are a highlight.)

I would compare this game to “Skyward Sword,” a personal favorite of mine that really irritated a lot of people in the Zelda community. The two games are similar in creating a relatively small, interesting world with interconnected distinctive biomes, and then demanding the user revisit areas in a fairly linear way. They also share the propensity for leaning into what made each series successful, with perhaps an acknowledgement that there’s no further to go without total reinvention. I’m not sure, but I’m thinking possibly so. (The difference between the titles is that the story beats here are not nearly as successful as they are in SS, but again, I still had a good time with the gameplay and environments.)

Ultimately, I hope people play this and we get another sequel. I also hope they mix things up a little more next time.

Dave’s Score: 8/10