Konami – DaveGladow.com

Haunted Castle Revisited mini review

I played the OG and this remake back-to-back, and basically I came away thinking they’re a lot closer in quality than people have been saying. I didn’t think the original was as bad as has been established, and I also didn’t think the remake is god’s gift to gaming.

I will say in fairness that this guy is an open-and-shut case as an improvement over its predecessor, which was a jank-fest.

The animation and graphics are clear upgrades, and a lot of the cheapness has been smoothed over. If you’re choosing between the two, I think this is the obvious winner.

But I also thought it was too easy and short an experience. It’s more of a curiosity than a full gaming experience. That puts a cap on how much I’d be willing to praise it.

So ultimately it’s pretty fun and a clear upgrade, but don’t use this as a reason to buy the Dominus Collection.

Dave’s Score: 7/10

Haunted Castle mini review

Janky … but not unreasonably so.

Believe me, I have played some unreasonably janky games, and this one really ain’t even approaching the honorable mentions.

“Haunted Castle” is sometimes mistaken for being a harbinger or forefather of the Castlevania series, but the original Castlevania debuted on the NES (along with an arcade port) well before this sucker. So it really has no excuse for kind of sucking.

(Since it came along second, it’s also not terribly important from a historical perspective.)

The suckiness comes through some of the hit detection and the cheap hits. The music and graphics are mostly fine, but decidedly different from what came before.

And it’s janky, with the protagonist kind of jerking around the screen like an extra from “Thriller,” but that actually fits the theme, so I’m not mad about it.

The trick here is memorization of enemy patterns, which with modern comforts like save states becomes a breeze.

There are absolutely worse spooky season games to engage with. It ain’t great, but it’s not quite the tire fire it’s been accused of being either.

Dave’s Score: 5/10

Snake’s Revenge mini review

Hideo Kojima wasn’t involved in this NES sequel to the original “Metal Gear.”

Cool, now the baggage is out of the way and we can talk about the game itself.

On the positive side, it does a good job of smoothing over a lot of the rough edges from “Metal Gear,” cleaning up the graphical presentation quite a bit. It also avoids the comical translation problems and the weird jungle traversal from the first game.

I also like the whole “interrogate prisoners” dynamic, which feels different from anything I’ve seen in any of the other Metal Gear games.

On the negative side, “Snake’s Revenge” doubles down on the stupid key cards from the first game (the problem is less the cards themselves and how they’re implemented — you basically have to guess at every single door which card to use, then systematically try all of them, and this process is a sucky waste of time). I also don’t think I’m going out on a limb to call the side-scrolling sections a perplexing addition, since they largely suck as well.

That a lot of this is unsuccessful doesn’t make the whole a bad game, and indeed, I sort of hate that people dismiss it without giving it a fair go because of some bizarre loyalty to Kojima.

Where I think this all ends up is with a game that improves on its NES predecessor in some respects but largely fails to move the ball forward. It’s not all that dissimilar from something like Zelda II in that it’s weird enough to merit a play, but not good enough to consider it more than a curious bit of history, rather than an example of a great game.

But that history, such that is, doesn’t deserve to be erased.

Dave’s Score: 6/10

Metal Gear (NES) mini review

So, most fans know this, but yes, the original “Metal Gear” did not debut on the NES. Famously, noted auteur Hideo Kojima did not find the NES port up to his exacting standards, and thusly, the game has fallen out of favor among metalheads in recent years.

Of course, what’s interesting to consider is a whole lot of people didn’t know any of this when the game debuted back in 1988. To a whole bunch of people, Metal Gear was just Metal Gear, not some inferior version of itself.

That’s how I chose to engage with the game, enjoying it on its own merits and accepting the shortcomings as being a byproduct of another era.

Taken on those terms, the game is very much … decent.

Stealth games basically got their start here, so the game has a significance, and it can be fun. Yet, it’s oftentimes confusing and muddled and annoying.

Enjoyable at times, frustrating at others, Metal Gear is a thoroughly “NES hard” kind of game.

And that’s okay.

Dave’s Ranking: 7/10

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty mini review

“Metal Gear Solid 2” is synonymous with subverting expectations. It’s synonymous with a lot of things, actually, representing its impact on the gaming industry.

If we can praise any one game for the rise of the video game auteur and the rush to build armies of developers to implement those visions for a hungry audience … we can certainly credit this one.

Hideo Kojima’s sequel to his PlayStation breakout hit has been celebrated partially as a showcase for the PlayStation 2 hardware, and partially as a game that prioritizes story to an almost absurd degree (hence the armies of developers).

The ultimate lesson at the heart of the story is to think for oneself, a worthy ambition for sure. The game gives us a cast of characters who are all entirely unreliable to illustrate this point, and yet, the entire narrative begins to collapse under the question of what is real and what isn’t. That might be a problem inherent to this type of story. But I confess to it breaking the suspension of disbelief more than I’d prefer. If I am to pretend that a story is true to engage with it, what am I to do when I am told the story is in fact not true?

If these questions seem a little too serious for a game about people creeping around under cardboard boxes, well, don’t blame me. The point here is to start using the brain, after all.

It was an absolute pleasure to engage with this, but I struggle with the question of just how essential it is, especially when we have the original game to play as well.

I think where this game lands is among my absolute favorites that just don’t quite make the Top 100. It’s more than fair to say that there are no regrets about having played, though. It’s a wacky-ass game.

Dave’s Score: 8/10

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (arcade) mini review

I’m not going to add a whole lot I didn’t cover already over here.

I guess what I’d say is that this is such a joy to play with my kids whenever I can convince them to give it a go. They’re into the Roblox and such, so it can be tough. We played it for Father’s Day this year.

It was great.

It’s always great.

Thanks, kids!

Dave’s Score: 9/10

Gradius (NES) mini review

Lately, I’ve been plowing through a ton of NES games that have been withering on the backlog vine. “Gradius” is the latest.

So first off, let me say that I can appreciate the historical value here, of this being one of Konami’s most important early releases, and frankly, I thought there would be more compromises here in terms of speed and moving objects on screen for fear of epic slowdown, and I came away impressed by the relative lack of molasses or simplification. It plays speedily, and there’s a ton going on, as is appropriate for a shooter of this type. So it earns a passing grade for all of that.

It’s not even close to being my favorite version of this game (or any of its sequels), but for what it is — a convenient way to play Gradius — it could be so much worse. A catastrophe this is not.

That said, I very much recommend going arcade or PC Engine for this title, or even better, going with Gradius II instead. I don’t like many of the subtle changes on display here, and like many NES games, it’s really sorta ugly. Plus, the first Gradius is notorious for recycling the same goofy boss over and over and over and over again, and that’s a point against.

But this is a solid game, and if you’re nostalgic for it because you played it as a kid, or if you’re curious about the differences in this version and would like to play it to see those, you’ll have a decent time.

I hate scoring yet another NES game a 7, but if the shoe fits…

Dave’s Score: 7/10

Dance Dance Revolution — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 51)

Do you know what it’s all about?

No, really.

Do you know what it’s all about?

You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around.

That’s what it’s all about.

(I apologize for nothing.)

Hokey pokey dalliances aside, I thought it was important to include a proper, traditional rhythm game in this countdown of my 100 essential retro games, and well, when you think on that for more than two seconds, the best possible choice really begins to make itself obvious.

You see, I think it’s the activity level here that really sets “Dance Dance Revolution” apart. A spirited evolution of the genre that demanded its participants stand up and get moving in order to have any sort of success, “DDR” took over arcades and helped usher in a true golden age for rhythm games.

I don’t think I’m overstating that either. I mean, we can argue that certain games have come along since that have done this sort of thing even better, and we can likewise argue that the activity doesn’t mean so much as the music itself and therefore a less active game might have a case for being considered more important to the games industry at large.

My argument in this discussion is this: Why else would this concept be imitated so gosh-darn much after this if this sucker wasn’t super meaningful to people? Here, you get two things – rhythm and dance – in concert, and moreover, it’s a communal experience, encouraging people to participate in pairs. And when it works, it REALLY works.

Truly, that IS what it’s all about.

Dance Dance Revolution at a glance:
Genre: Dance/rhythm
Released: 1999
Platform: Arcade
Guinness World Record: Most Widely Used Video Game in Schools