Star Parodier — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 49)

We haven’t really talked about Japanese imports in this countdown yet (present company excepted), and it feels like a pretty important part of the games industry at large … so let’s maybe do that, yeah?

Bonus: It gives me an excuse to talk about what is just a dang delightful game.

So, let’s go ahead and discuss “Star Parodier,” an excellent “cute ‘em up” that somehow didn’t get ported to America for a couple of decades despite it being a feast visually, aurally, and gameplay-wise, while also being that rarest of things shooters so often fail to even remotely consider during planning and development: 

It’s approachable.

Star Parodier at a glance:

Genre: Shooter
Released: 1992
Platform: PC Engine Super CD
9/10 score from Nintendo Life
Continue reading Star Parodier — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 49)

Mega Man 3 — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 48)

I don’t know that I’m going to have much more room for series duplicates and sequels in the rest of this countdown

And yet, here we are anyway.

I mean, sure, we’re still going to have to see some covered ground as we go along, because I just have too much fondness for particular games to leave them off. And if we can acknowledge that sometimes sequels can exceed the original work (as we have done), we can likewise acknowledge that sometimes they don’t *quite* get there … yet they have a great deal of value just the same.

Even more than that,  if I’m honest with myself (and you), I can also allow that on occasion, my own choice for elevation in this list is more of a coin flip than a definitive proclamation. In other words, the relative quality between two choices for inclusion from a particular property might be essentially equal.

So, let us state for the record that even though it feels a shame to lean into a specific series often during a countdown of this sort (since it will inevitably result in the exclusion of other series), it is also not entirely without merit. Truly, sometimes, the games in question simply just deserve to be here.

For me at least, the real litmus test, above and beyond personal attachment, historical importance, or even quality, is going to be how distinctive an experience you might get from game to game within a particular series.

I can wince a little at all of the Mario games we have on this list so far, but only for appearance’s sake, because when you peer a little closer, you’ll see a unique experience from one game to the next.

To elaborate, Mario 1 was the original promise of continued fun and excitement. Mario 2 was the colorful oddball sequel that innovated. Mario 3 was excellence personified. Mario World was even more excellence personified. Mario 64 was a groundbreaker. And so on, and so on.

It’s the same with Castlevania. “Dracula’s Curse” is perhaps the best possible example of old-school “NES-hard” platforming, “Rondo of Blood” was the transitional game, introducing more dynamic branching levels and upping the visuals and sound, and “Symphony of the Night” was the natural end point for that evolution, going for more explorer-based action.

With all of that considered, you can probably pretty safely guess why we’re now going to talk a little about Mega Man 3. Sure, I have a personal attachment to it. But it’s also a titan among 8-bit platformers giving it a historical relevance, and it’s roughly as good as the game we already covered – Mega Man 2

But ALSO, it’s here because it’s distinct enough from Mega Man 2 to merit inclusion on its own.

Mega Man 3 at a glance:

Genre: Side-scrolling platformer
Released: 1990
Platform: NES
GamePro’s third-greatest 8-bit video game of all time
Continue reading Mega Man 3 — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 48)

Every comic book movie ranked (mostly)

(Last updated August 14, 2025.  Originally published June 12, 2016.)

I like to ruminate on comic book movies a bit.

This probably reads fairly silly to some of the deeper thinkers out there, but it is what it is I suppose. I’m not going to make a convincing enough argument in this space that anyone should ascribe a whole ton of deep meaning to these kinds of movies, but for whatever’s it worth, they generally make me think a bit. It’s probably fair to say that some blockbusters are dumber than others, and for some, the style of fare that the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) churns out (and at 2-3 movies a year, it is by now accurate to call it a churn) just doesn’t do it for them. It’s clearly turned into a significant money maker for the mouse, and the time commitment to consume them all, let alone the repetitive nature of the films are all good reasons to stay away.

Respect.

That said, I enjoy them a great deal. I appreciate escapism for its own sake, as mentioned above I can take away some decent life lessons and social commentary from them, and perhaps most importantly, they are movies I can bond with my family over. When my son Nate tells me he wants to watch “Thor,” and I can watch it with him, that is an experience I treasure.

I thought I would re-rank these films in the interest of sparking a little debate OR encouraging people to check a couple of them out if they haven’t. Some of this stuff I would recommend above the rest, and I guess that is the point more than anything. Also, this is sort of fun.

Continue reading Every comic book movie ranked (mostly)

Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 47)

So, other than Mario and Link, the omnipresent faces of Nintendo who will still be around long after I’ve left this big blue rock, I haven’t had another game/series/character manage to break past two appearances on this list of nearly 50 (so far!) games I think everyone should try playing.

Until now, that is.

Welcome to the club, Castlevania!

Truly, it is a distinguished honor.

Your children’s children will be talking about this moment.

Okay, probably not, but we can still talk about “Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse” for a while if we want to, so let’s do that.

Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse at a glance:

Genre: Side-scrolling platformer
Released: 1990
Platform: NES
Nintendo Power’s ninth-best NES game
Continue reading Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 47)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 46)

This section of the countdown might seem a little like the department of redundancy department. 

The next few titles we’ll be featuring in this space are games in series that I love that already had representation in the countdown, and yet, here I am, saying you should play this other game too.

The onus then falls on me to make the case for why people should play not just the game that falls higher on the list (in this case, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time“), but for them to play that game AND this one.

In the case of the arcade classic beat ‘em up “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” we’re going to be looking at three distinct things, I’d say.

  1. The importance of the coin-op brawler as a genre within video games.
  2. The massive cultural relevance of the ninja turtles.
  3. Why this game, itself, is fun.

So yeah, let’s get to it. Why should someone play that other turtles game … and this turtles game too?

Let’s read on to find out!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at a glance:

Genre: Beat ’em up
Released: 1989
Platform: Arcade
Konami’s highest-grossing arcade game.
Continue reading Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 46)

The top 10 Nintendo Switch games

Hey y’all, I thought I would take a short diversion from regular programming to talk about the Nintendo Switch for a little while.

The system’s successor, the aptly named “Switch 2,” makes its debut in, well, several hours at this point, meaning the old trusty Switch is going to be on its last legs in terms of product support going forward.

This gives us the perfect reason to celebrate the Switch by talking about what it did so darn well. For me, with all apologies to its unique trailblazing nature as a home/portable hybrid console, that’s primarily the looooooong list of great games it housed.

I wanted to hone in on some of the highlights of that killer library – the true cream of the crop – and so I started to think about things in terms of the Switch’s “Mt. Rushmore,” the games that were truly stellar and synonymous with the system.

That list quickly grew beyond four, so I decided, let’s go for an even 10 and call it a day.

The following are in my view the 10 most impactful, representative, elite games on the Nintendo Switch … with a few caveats beforehand.

Continue reading The top 10 Nintendo Switch games

Grand Theft Auto III — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 45)

Part of the enjoyment of trying to evaluate some of the most important games of all time involves the revisitation of a specific time and place when recalling those games, either in our memories or through actual, physical play. 

In one of our earlier entries, we touched on “Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater,” a definitive gaming masterpiece for the original PlayStation that exceeded its own worth as a game by also being a cultural touchstone. 

The late 90s were alternative AF, and Tony Hawk was basically the perfect game at the perfect time, becoming more popular, and ergo, more important, as a piece of our pop culture in the process.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to call “Grand Theft Auto III” a similar phenomenon, capturing a gritty, depressed, and even violent moment in our nation’s history with a game that suited much of our population’s sensibilities.

By any measure, 2001 was wild, man.

To set the scene, stocks were tumbling from the highs they had enjoyed at the height of the “dot-com” surge in the late 90s, wherein for a while there it seemed like every entrepreneur within sniffing distance of the Internet was trying to sell some website of some kind, often for dollars on the penny (is that an expression?). 

That bubble, as of 2001, was bursting, and perhaps not coincidentally with economic times being tough, the crime rate was going up for the first time in a decade.

In general, musical tastes were trending super commercial, away from the soulful melodies typified by the grunge scene and the overarching environment of creativity we enjoyed in the 1990s, becoming instead an overly polished pop machine bearing fruit the likes of a flood of boy bands, Britney Spears, and so forth. This is oversimplifying things by quite a bit, but a hyper-produced (soulless?) sound had unmistakably taken over the top of the charts. The big exception, of course, was the upcoming rush of emo music, which was replacing “soulless” with “sad.”

In theaters, “darker” films were the rage, with even more popular fare like “The Matrix,” “X-Men,” and “The Lord of the Rings” trending darker than what was common with the more brightly adorned offerings of the 90s. More artistic fare included such “uplifting” films as “Mulholland Drive,” “Vanilla Sky,” and “Blow.”

So, you had economic uncertainty, violent crime rising, sometimes soulless but more often moody themes dominating entertainment, and then … 9/11 happened.

Yeah, that too.

I think everyone who lived through 9/11 was personally affected by it to some degree, whether you or someone you knew physically went through the tragedy or not. There was a nationwide trauma that occurred.

Weirdly enough for me, I was supposed to be at the first day of a new job I had taken out of desperation in an attempt to kickstart my life. Post-graduation, I had gotten a couple of nibbles in my job searches, but I was finding that most of my relevant experience interning in various communications capacities in and around my college campus didn’t make me a hot hiring prospect at the various advertising agencies around the state/country/world. 

Shocker.

That had led me to do some soul searching in trying to figure out what I really wanted to do, and how to go about getting it.

You see, advertising was always a compromise choice, a thing that seemed practical but still allowed me to work in a creative field. It was a “please your parents” decision for someone who had previously dabbled in art. Ultimately, though, it didn’t light a fire under my ass. My failed job search was a reflection of that. 

I wasn’t willing to go to the mat for grabbing a spot in the industry, since I just didn’t feel that strongly about it.

What sparked that passion for me, eventually, was sports journalism (go here for a little background on where that passion took me). 

The only problem with sports writing? 

I had even less experience with that.

So I decided for myself I’d go volunteer at the local sports information office and get as much practical experience as I possibly could there (the idea being, at some point, someone would pay me for those services). In the meantime, I would work a garbage telemarketing gig during the day to pay the bills (and to show off my work ethic to prospective employers).

Yes, I secured my spot in hell with the decision to become a telemarketer, but hey, we’ve all gotta get paid.

9/11 was my first day of that shitty telemarketing job.

They sent us all home.

Which was more than fine with me, because holy hell, I couldn’t even begin to imagine trying to work through that. Let alone calling people to try to sell them something they didn’t need whilst they processed that unimaginable tragedy.

“Yes, people are dying right now, but have you considered your business not getting the reach it could be? THAT’S the real tragedy, my friend!”

Thankfully, we didn’t do that.

Instead, I watched everything unfold on television with my parents.

The breadth of emotions covered on that day is difficult to describe to anyone who didn’t live through it. 

Shock, fear, grief, and anger are a good starting point, but I think one of the biggest things going through my head that day, as I think back on it, was defiance.

An unrequited yearning to help in some way, a helplessness at not knowing how to do so, and a hope that heroes would continue to emerge (and that our government would do the right thing) were surely central to the experience through the first several hours, but eventually I remember settling into a mindset of “I’m going to live my life and no one is going to be able to stop me.”

I wasn’t going to live in fear.

The day was like 15 straight hours of consuming CNN and the network news reporting, soaking in every detail, every story, every development, until finally, mercifully, by the end of the day, as a kind of catharsis, I recall watching an elderly gentleman covered in ash recount his day. At the end of the interview, after talking about all the crazy shit he’d seen and lived, he raised his arm in the air, Judd Nelson-style, and declared, “But I’m still here!”

That guy got it. 

He embodied the reaction to the tragedy that I wanted to embrace. Moreover, with my newfound direction in life in regards to a career path, I was properly motivated to get to work.

This mindset and determination sustained me through literal years of internships, volunteerism, and part-time work that finally allowed me to break through with a full-time sports producing job with CBS in 2005.

But before all that, there was a lonely desperation at play in that fall of 2001, and in the wake of tragedy, when America was at its absolute angriest, THAT is when “Grand Theft Auto III” hit store shelves.

Naturally, it was a gigantic, absurdly successful hit.

Grand Theft Auto III at a glance:

Genre: Open-world action adventure
Released: 2001
Platform: PlayStation 2
GamePro’s most important game of all time
Continue reading Grand Theft Auto III — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 45)

Halo: Combat Evolved — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 44)

There’s a pattern you see with video games, which probably isn’t all that unique to the medium when you really think about it, but nevertheless, it’s something you see a lot of in gaming in particular.

An initial game in a potential franchise will launch, generally with pretty good “bones” – perhaps it’s got a great concept, or maybe it nails some element that can become foundational later on – but the thing nevertheless isn’t 100 percent on point. 

Not yet. 

The game has some rough edges, some problems, and some things you wish weren’t there. 

We can guess that it needed more time in the oven. Or even that it was probably realistically pushed about as far as anyone could expect for a first crack at the thing. But either way, the end result is the same: It doesn’t have polish.

It was a proper idea, but it’s just not quite there yet.

When the sequel(s) come along, that’s when you see your desired refinement occur. Everything that worked about the first game gets built upon and expanded. Everything that didn’t work gets thrown out. 

More of the good. Less of the bad. 

What emerges is generally a better game than what you had before. 

Now, there are plenty of examples of sequels that don’t follow this script — games that deviate too wildly from a winning formula, games that fail to improve upon what came before,* or worst of all games that were given to a team of developers who just weren’t up to the challenge of duplicating what made the entity special to begin with. These are your “disappointment” sequels. 

* Probably the most notorious examples of this are your annual EASports-type releases of games that barely change what came the year before. You’ve gotta squint to see what’s been improved from one game to the next. “Hey, the rosters are slightly different … buy it now!”

But by and large, if you want to talk about some of the most successful sequels in history – universally beloved hits like Mega Man 2, Street Fighter II, Tecmo Super Bowl, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, and Donkey Kong Country 2 (just to name a few) – those games didn’t necessarily reinvent the wheel. They built on what had previously been established, and they did so with brilliance.

A game comes out. It establishes a franchise. It’s improved in the sequel(s). And off we go.

Thus, we can say that in general, there’s simply a level of presentation and polish that’s present in a sequel that you don’t see in an original outing. The first game in the series is going to be a little rough or janky in comparison. 

It’s the sequels that nail the concept.

And THIS is what makes “Halo: Combat Evolved” a remarkable game.

It sticks the landing on the very first attempt.

Halo: Combat Evolved at a glance:

Genre: First-person shooter
Released: 2001
Platform: Xbox
IGN’s fourth-best FPS ever
Continue reading Halo: Combat Evolved — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 44)

Shadow of the Colossus — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 43)

You’re riding your horse through a barren landscape, one oddly devoid of life. 

Unsettlingly so.

A haze covers everything, muting all colors and hindering your ability to see things clearly.

This world is not our own. Moreover, it’s dreamlike … it doesn’t feel entirely real. 

You’ve been directed to this task, of riding your horse to an unclear destination, by a thundering voice from the sky, speaking a language you don’t recognize (but which has still conveniently been translated for you so that you might understand at a most basic level). 

Everything here is foreign.

The voice instructed you to slay a number of giants in order that you might save your female companion. 

She was quite very clearly deceased when you examined her, but you’re unwilling to accept that. An option to save her has been presented. You’ve been given direction, and this is more comforting than having to slog through the fog with no sense of where to go.

You encounter a cliff, which necessitates leaving your horse behind, and you scale that cliff.

Up ahead, you see the outline of a structure within another cliff wall. Perhaps it is scalable as well?

As you venture closer, you are in awe as this structure begins to rearrange itself and come to life, towering above you into the sky: a colossus lumbering toward you, intent on clubbing you to death with its giant weapon.

You are in awe because this is completely foreign to anything you’ve experienced before in your life.

I outline the above scenario, cribbed directly from the opening moments of “Shadow of the Colossus,” because I think it’s worth understanding upfront that this game when it debuted was unlike anything else that had come before. And to date, some 20 years later, we still haven’t seen the game’s formula recreated in quite the same way either. 

Its impact on the gaming industry stretches far and wide, as elements present here have inspired developers for two decades now. Trying to recapture those senses of awe and scale has been a favorite pastime of the industry ever since people first laid eyes on this spectacle of a game.

But despite its influence, is there another experience quite like this one anywhere else in video games?

I’d argue no.

And that, more than anything else, is why it’s considered one of the best games of all time.

Shadow of the Colossus at a glance:

Genre: Action-adventure
Released: 2005
Platform: PlayStation 2
GamesRadar’s No. 10 “best game ever”
Continue reading Shadow of the Colossus — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 43)

Tekken 3 — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 42)

If you’ve ever wanted to fight a panda bear, an animated log, an alien samurai, or a wrestler in a jaguar mask, boy, do I have the game for you!

The very first thing that jumps out at you when you encounter Tekken 3 for the first time is its completely wackadoodle roster of bizarre characters, some of the tamest of which are Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee knockoffs, who both happen to be completely over-the-top caricatures of their real-life selves (and are positively bad-ass). But yeah, those are the tame ones. More typical are the likes of an ogre demon, or an infirm senior citizen scientist, or a cartoon dinosaur.

Color, in this case, is not a problem.

In fact, it’s partly the point.

But let’s be clear about this: it’s not the ENTIRE point. 

If it were, the Tekken series would have long since run out of steam.

Instead, the franchise has gotten better and better, to the point where it has become one of the premiere fighting series on the planet.

So, let’s get into a little of the how and why that happened while we dive into what is largely considered the most impactful entry in the series.

Tekken 3 at a glance:

Genre: Fighting game
Released: 1998
Platform: PlayStation
Complex’s Fourth Best Fighting Game of All Time
Continue reading Tekken 3 — Retro Gaming Essentials (No. 42)